Tales of the T.E.M.P.
Lately I’ve been allowing a boy to hang out with me. Lord, let us pray.
That’s right, there’s a T.E.M.P. on the scene, or a “temporarily entertaining man-person”… emphasis on the temporary part because this dude is in no way my type.
At 24 yrs old with a wardrobe that consists of cargo shorts and DC shoes, our temp friend apparently views Rob Dyrdek as a style icon and saves his short-sleeved button downs for the big nights out. He listens to whatever’s on the radio and doesn’t have a single book in his apartment. If this kid were any further out of my alley he’d be in Uzbekistan. Thus solidifying his status as a T.E.M.P.
…Bars really need better lighting.
Anyways, it started off all vodka-tonics and slutty make outs but then things took a turn for the bizzarre. He asked me out on a date. a. real. live. date. I had heard of these mystical gatherings in the past, but lucky for me I knew better than to fall for that urban-love-legend at first mention and I did what any previously-burned, self-protective, urban 20 something would do. Laughed in his face. A choice I immediately regretted when he looked at me like I killed the puppy he got for Christmas while he watched. Woops. It seemed our temp had some “full time” ideas. ALRIGHT T.E.M.P. I’ll overlook this express breach of contract and go on this “date” with you.
Here’s where shit gets weird. After a couple of meals, many drinks, and a movie date I wasn’t sick of the temp yet. In fact he pulled a gazillion brownie points with 2 tickets to the midnight showing of Harry Potter for my birthday. After only 1 week in. I was dumbstruck.
Who was this guy? Who did he think he was, being nice to me? I was out of my element. Luckily, I was pretty confident that the amount tears I would spew from my pathetic eyes during HP7.2 would give me a look vaguely similar to that of a violent shellfish reaction, and the temp would be no more. Yet, once again, he came through in the clutch and took me straight home to take out my contacts and ice my disgusting face so I wouldn’t have a headache in the morning. At which point he wasn’t even deterred by my broken, taped up glasses circa the awkward years. MY ACE IN THE HOLE!!
…what. the. fuck.
I even tried introducing him to my friends who I thought would scare him off for sure, with their age appropriate clothing, jobs and interests. Nada. Zip. Zilch. He still wanted to hang out.
I am at a loss people. I know that I’m not genuinely interested in this guy, but he likes me a lot and what can I say? I like to be liked! Don’t you? Which brings me to my question…
If you know you have no potential with someone, is it really that evil to let them adore you? I mean people in arranged marriages don’t usually even like each other and they end up getting married! Isn’t that a lot more misleading?? Please, send all comments and criticisms (and personal ads) my way readers. I can take it.
God give me strength. Consider this one a series people, more to come.